(told to me by my mother-in-law)
When I was growing up, she said,
My father worked for Lockheed.
He found a scrap piece of rubber one day,
Thick rubber, like you might make a tire out of.
He punched some holes in it and made a handle
And brought it home to use as a flyswatter.
It was only used twice to swat a fly
And both times it broke the window instead.
So my mother used it to spank us with.
She could really whack that thing.
It got so she only had to wave it
And all of us children would scatter.
I remember my brother George getting whaled on,
Yelling, "You're killing me!" And she hollered back,
"What do you think I'm trying to do?"
After she died, we searched and searched,
But we never did find the flyswatter.
~ Tamary Shoemaker
(The flyswatter is legendary in my husband's family. He remembers his brother getting smacked by it when Granny disapproved of something he did. He says he himself ran too fast to ever feel the business end of it.)